Tag Archives: anxiety

Going through Big Changes

23 Jul

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks around here. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed lately and haven’t felt like blogging much. I don’t like for blogging to feel like a chore, and, unfortunately, it has felt that way recently. I don’t know why, but it has. I am hoping that it becomes my happy place again soon because I really need one of those right about now. It’s not that I’m unhappy; things are going well, very well. Things are just a little stressful, and new things are on the horizon. I am starting a new job in a couple of weeks, and I am having a hard time dealing with the transition period. I wasn’t seeking out a new job, so it kind of caught me off guard, and I wasn’t prepared to make this transition so suddenly. It is a great opportunity though, something I really couldn’t pass up. It is at a smaller lab here in San Diego. There’s room for growth, and it’s a step up from the position I have at my current job. It is bittersweet though because I’ve been with my current company for 6 years now. I was one of the first few people in my department, and I’ve been through so much with the company and my coworkers. I will miss my coworkers a lot, but I have built lasting relationships with many of them, and I know we will keep in touch. It will be weird to be the “new girl” again because it’s been so long since I have been in those shoes.

I have been experiencing many different emotions related to this new adventure I am about to begin: anxiety, fear, excitement, pride, sadness, guilt, relief. So so many things! This next couple of weeks will be tough because I am filled with anxiety as I anticipate my first day at my new job. I am anticipating what the day-to-day duties and stress level will be like. I am worrying about how my new coworkers will be. Will they be friendly and fun to be around or will I not like them at all? There are so many unknowns as I step into this new endeavor. It’s hard to close such a big chapter in my life, but I’m excited to see what the next one has to offer.

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So, that’s a little update about what’s going on with me lately. What’s new in your life? Have you had to go through a big change like this before? How did you adjust?

Thanks for your support!

heartsig

The Reason Behind My Blog

18 May

While I was sitting in one of the white wooden chairs in the audience at Elevate Blog Conference a week ago, I listened attentively to all of the beautiful speakers. They all had a different, personal story to tell, but like the quote that Ashley told us, “That which is most personal is most universal.”, I realized that there was an underlying similarity within all of their unique stories. The similarity was that we all have a story to share. We all want our voice to be heard. Ashley urged us to think about why we want to share our story. Why do we blog about our lives when we could keep it all private? Why do we put ourselves out there in a world that can be cruel and hateful at times? These questions have been rolling around in my brain for a week now. I have thought about the answers countless times, but have been procrastinating when it has come to writing about them. Why? I guess I’ve been scared to get too real. I’ve been scared to be vulnerable and open up too much. But, in that fear I have discovered my reason why.

As far back as I can remember I have been shy, reserved, and fearful of other people. I have had problems making friends, getting close to others and interacting socially. The social anxiety that I have felt at times has been almost debilitating. Big crowds make me cringe. The fear of rejection has dug its talons in deep within me, and it’s been a long, intense battle to break free. This blog is a place to help me break free. After twenty-eight years of living with anxiety and fear, I am ready to break free. I am ready to love myself for who I am and not let the fear of what other people may think take control of me. It has been a work in progress over the years to become free of this heavy weight. Blogging gives me an outlet to be me, let go of my fears, and share my story with others.

I blog because I want to

be real,

be inspiring,

be raw,

and be ME.

Just Be.

I want to share my story with whoever wants to listen. I want to provide an open place where myself and others can feel safe to just be. I want to inspire you to love yourself, be kind to yourself and others, be happy, and be you. This is why I blog. Thank you, Ashley for asking that question and making me think about the reason behind my blog.

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